It seems much more together and orderly; however, the paper still seems to be mainly summarizing the facts of all the authors (who I would not consider scholars, by the way). Make your own argument and make it clear!
It flows much better and the conclusion is much better. But I will have to agree with Luke and say that it does somewhat seem like you aren't making your own arguments. But that is really the only thing I can find that needs to be changed.
2 comments:
It seems much more together and orderly; however, the paper still seems to be mainly summarizing the facts of all the authors (who I would not consider scholars, by the way). Make your own argument and make it clear!
It flows much better and the conclusion is much better. But I will have to agree with Luke and say that it does somewhat seem like you aren't making your own arguments. But that is really the only thing I can find that needs to be changed.
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